Feminism Is For Everyone

Feb 10, 2009,3:58 PM

Nadya Suleman

In the light of the birth of Nadya Suleman's octuplets, I am curious to hear your opinions of her predicament.

For the sake of information, here are a few official sources of information:
MSNBC's interview
NY Daily News
Women's Issues (good opinion piece)

Before I offer my own opinion, allow me to say that I am glad that Nadya had the right to choose to start a family on her own and that she had the ambition to have a family regardless of what people thought of her single relationship status. As a western society, we have come a long way from the stigmas associated with having children out of wedlock.

However, the more I hear about Nadya the more irritated I become with her sensationalist story. On the way to classes this morning I heard on the radio that she had injured her back in 1999 as a result of a work-related accident. (This factoid is represented in the MSNBC article.) Her doctors told her that she needed surgery, but she opted out because she feared infertility. Instead, she collected $168,000 in compensation over the course of around seven years. During that time she had her first six children. Um, hello? If you have a back injurty that the doctors deemed serious enough for surgery, why would you want to impregnate yourself before you are healed?

But that's not my point. My point is that she decided to have children before she found a means of supporting them. She plans on returning to school in the future so that she can better provide for them. My question is, "how?" Her mother seems hardly supportive of her choices and has, allegedly, filed for bakruptcy. Her father is only one person. She says she refuses to accept welfare, so how will she take care of 14 children while she goes back to school? Who is her support group?

Moreover, her comments indicate to me (though I am no psychologist) that her need to have a big family is her attempt to heal or comfort herself for what she did not have as a single child growing up. In her interview with Ann Curry, Suleman said that she "just longed for certain connections and attachments with another person that [she] really lacked...growing up." She also said that she lacked a "Feeling of self and identity. I didn't feel as though, when I was a child, I had much control of my environment. I felt powerless."

It makes me wonder if that's how her 14 children will feel when they grow older and all demand attention: a feeling of self and identity. Right now they're all just a number.

And before I step off my soap box, I also want to say that I am aghast that Nadya has no shame naming a figure for giving an interview on television. She is openly seeking $2 million for media interviews and commercials in order to counter the costs of raising her children. Where was that concern for money before you let the doctor implant you with six fertilized eggs? That is what irritates me the most: her reliance on public sympathy and media sensationalism for monetary aid. I honestly hope that she does not become the next Jon and Kate Plus 8.

I also want to acknowledge the ethical debate that this issue unearthed. I do question her fertility doctor's judgment. He should have questioned her when she first asked for IVF due to her back injury. But, this angle brings up enough concern for another day, so I'll leave it at that.